Tuesday, September 8, 2009

What is love?

Jim Thomas awoke to the sound of his alarm clock and dragged his tired body to the shower. Not even 5 minutes later he was ready to get to school. “Jiiiiiiiiiim!!!!! Breakfast is ready!!!!!!!!!” his mom called from the kitchen. As he walked towards the kitchen, delicious aromas of fried bacon, toast and eggs filled his nose.

Walking to school, Jim planned his day out: “I need to tell her” he confided to himself. Adjusting his glasses on his speckled face, he sighed quietly and braced himself for the task at hand. Yes, he decided to take the plunge and tell Bridgette how he really felt, has always felt about her. Her beautiful grey eyes, long flowing light brown hair, her laugh… that amazing laugh. These were the things that enticed him about Bridgette Matthews, still he could never bring himself to tell her that. He was just… well… plain. Her boyfriend though was a different story: captain of the team, handsome, built like a wall, strong as an ox.

He noticed her in the class as soon as he walked in, sitting in her usual spot. “Eerr… Bridgette. I meant to ask…” he stuttered. “OI! What do you think you’re doing idiot?!” the voice of James Blignet, Bridgette’s boyfriend, boomed from across the classroom. Jim shrunk away, not knowing where to put his face, wishing the earth would just swallow him up whole. “Jim, don’t mind him. Is there something I can help you with?” she smiled like only she could as she spoke to him. “Well, I wanted to offer my help with your maths. I noticed you were having a bit of problems with quadratic equations yesterday.” He stuttered. She looked at him, millions of thoughts passing by her eyes. “Look I’m sorry to have bothered you, I’ll..” “No” she stopped him. “I have been struggling with it, and I will really appreciate it if you did help me.” She continued, “How about this afternoon?”. Jim froze. Was he dreaming? Did she really mean it? “Th… that would be perfect!” he blurted out.

That afternoon Jim sat with Bridgette in the study of his parent’s house, nervously tutoring her as best he could. Through it all though, he managed to get through it. She thanked him and left. “I blew it!” he muttered. That evening, the phone rang, “Jim?” that voice, it couldn’t be! “Are you there Jim? I just wanted to say thanks for today, and to ask if you could maybe help me again. You know, like maybe once or twice a week?” Jim was dumbstruck. “Oh! Bridgette, thanks and yeah I don’t mind. You just come around anytime you want!” he all but barely managed to contain himself. And so it went, Bridgette came through, Jim tutored her for months. Slowly she started staying longer, coming through to his place more often.

James wasn’t a happy guy; his woman was spending way too much time with that geek. What the hell was she thinking? He watched her, followed her, what time she got there, what time she left. He knew Jim was up to something, pffft, like he had a chance!!! “I AM the man!” he shouted into the night. Still James was worried, Bridgette seemed to be making way too many excuses to him lately. Why didn’t she want to go with him to the games anymore? Why did she want to worry more about what he did to the nerds in the school? What did she care? More importantly, what it that was making him feel like this?

Bridgette looked at Jim, eyes filled with wonder. Jim knew so much, it… enthralled her. She hadn’t even known 1/10th of the stuff he knew. Could someone even hold that much knowledge in their head? She decided it was time. “Jim?” she interrupted him while explaining the difference between a proton and a neutron, “Uhmmm, yeah Bridgette?” he stuttered. It was so cute the way he was so much in his element when talking about school things but stumbled to speak when he spoke directly to her. “Would you like to go to a movie with me this evening?” she asked with wide eyes. “A… a… a movie?! Eer… yeah why not” Jim’s heart skipped beats as he said the words before even realizing it. “Good, then it’s settled!! Let’s go now!”.

“What a night!” Jim said to Bridgette after the movie. The movie was great, the time spent with Bridgette was even more amazing than he ever imagined! As she slipped her hand into his, she whispered “Yes, yes it was.”. Neither of them noticed the hulking shadow following them, drawing silently closer with each step.

James swung the cricket bat so hard that Jim was unconscious before he even hit his head with a sickening crunch on the pavement. Bridgette screamed, but James didn’t hear anything, his face twisted in rage bent on the demise of Jim. He punched, kicked and stomped him. Jim barely felt the blows anymore, as pain wracked his body as each blow hit his limp body. Slowly, thankfully, darkness began to encompass him. His heartbeat slowed, and finally died. Bridgette’s screams continued as the police vehicles came to a screeching halt at Jim’s lifeless body.

*Editor's note*
Too many times people think themselves not worthy enough for someone else’s love. Yet if they took the risk, they would never know if it was right or wrong. Possession, or jealousy, on the other hand is different to love. There is a difference between loving someone and giving a feeling of being trapped in a relationship that will only end in failure. No-one likes to feel stifled. If you love someone, let them go. Do you really want to wake up one day and realize that you did not just lose parts of your life that would have been happier, and then making someone else follow you blindly all for naught? Love is about giving and receiving, it is not selfish or vengeful.

Look at me

I am the one you always look at
But the one you never see
The one you always talk to
But you never listen to me

You turn to me when all else fails
But you're never there for me
I push it all aside in my mind
But deep down it really does break me

There's nothing that I can say or do
To change just who you are
But for all that I want to be
I will never be in your heart

Sanity and Mentality

From the depths of my broken soul
Breaks forth a monster I cannot control
Where there was light there is now dark
It seems that all life has lost it's spark

With all that I appear to own
There's nothing that I've actually got
The thoughts of what were once sown
Have fallen into a void and have been lost

But now I've grown weary
My limbs are weak and my eyes bleary
This battle I can no longer fight
My last stand gone as I fade into the night

Yet again I pick up the pieces of my life
And try to fit it into some semblence of order
I stand up holding on with all my might
My sanity hanging on a wafer thin border